I was overjoyed that my fiance got on so well with my best friend. But was there more to their friendship?
By Roxanne Bamber, 19, from Lancaster, Lancashire
Ushering Fin into the kitchen, I flicked the kettle on as we tried to stifle our giggles. ‘Shush, he’ll hear us,’ I nudged my best mate as I peered round the doorway at Dan, sitting on the sofa in the living room.
At 20, Dan was four years older than me, and I thought he was the best thing to ever happen to me. I was smitten, but I wanted to know what Fin, my best mate, thought first.
Fin and I had grown up together so her opinion meant a lot to me.
‘So, what do you think?’ I asked, raising my eyebrows as I fixed us a brew. I watched as a smile broke out across Fin’s face.
‘Yeah, I like him, Rox. He’s definitely a keeper!’
When Fin gave Dan her seal of approval, it was the cherry on the cake. And after six months together, Dan moved in with me and my mum. I’d never been happier.
Dan, Fin and I became inseparable and when Dan and Fin discovered they shared a love of Minecraft, the friendship was cemented further.
‘Oi, I don’t even get a look in now!’ I joked, when Dan and Fin insisted on playing each other. Each day, Dan and I made the three-mile journey to Fin’s house so they could play computer games together.
They hardly ever let me have a go and I felt like a bit of a spare part. But I couldn’t complain that Dan loved Fin as much as I did.
Then, after a year together, Dan and I got some surprising news. ‘I’m pregnant,’ I whispered, holding up the pregnancy test my sister had made me take.
‘Dan, we’re going to have a baby,’ I went on. My heart pounded in my chest. I was still so young, I didn’t know how I’d cope with a baby when I was little more than a child myself.
But Dan was delighted. ‘I’ve always wanted to be a dad,’ he grinned. ‘We’ll make it work, you’ll see,’ he told me. ‘I want us to be a family – to have a proper future together.’
My shock soon gave way to happiness when Dan showed how committed he was to me and our unborn baby. We even agreed to get married.
But Dan didn’t seem to grasp the reality of the situation. We should have been buying clothes and equipment for the baby, picking out names and talking about what sort of parents we’d be.
Instead, Dan was more interested in Minecraft – and Fin. ‘Come on, you’re not ill,’ he said, heaving me and my burgeoning bump off the sofa.
‘A bit of fresh air will do you good anyway. I want to go to Fin’s to play Minecraft, we’re nearly on the next level.’
I sighed as I pulled my coat on, stretching it over my growing belly. I loved that my fiance and best friend got on so well, but with our little one on the way, I longed for Dan to focus on me and our expanding family.
So when Dan still insisted on our daily three-mile walks to Fin’s house to play computer games, even when I was heavily pregnant, alarm bells began to ring.
I knew they’d grown close – and I’d been pleased, I’d even encouraged it. But was there more to it…?
Our baby daughter, Olivia, was born in December 2014. ‘She’s gorgeous,’ Dan cooed as he cradled her – before promptly placing her back in my arms.
‘Where are you going?’ I asked, as he headed towards the door of the maternity ward. ‘Just to Fin’s,’ he replied. ‘You need your rest.’
My heart sank. The truth was, I needed him. I had no idea what I was doing, if I was feeding Olivia correctly or if I’d even got her nappy on the right way round.
I thought Dan and I would muddle along together – instead, he’d gone straight to Fin’s to play blasted Minecraft!
I picked up my mobile and dialled his number. It rang and rang, until Dan’s answer machine kicked in. ‘I could do with some help here,’ I snapped. ‘Can you give me a call back when you get this please?’
But Dan never called back. I was ringing and ringing him from my hospital bed, but Dan was too busy having fun with my best friend.
Four months later, in April 2015, Dan and I got out own council flat together. I couldn’t wait for us to be a proper family. It would be a fresh start. But Dan changed almost immediately.
He grew controlling and became snappy with me over the silliest things. He wouldn’t even give me a hand with the shopping.
‘Dan, I need some help,’ I rang him on my way back from the supermarket. ‘These bags are really heavy and they’ve just split.’
But Dan just laughed and hung up the phone. Charming!
In time, he grew distant and left me at home holding the baby while he went off to Fin’s to play computer games.
I didn’t want to believe anything was going on between them but it just didn’t stack up. Neither of them seemed particularly interested in Olivia – or me – and would much rather spend their days together in front of a computer screen.
So when Dan and I began arguing more and more and he became vicious and threatening, I ended our relationship.
‘It’s over,’ I told him in November 2015. ‘Pack your bags and leave.’
I was adamant our relationship was finished but Dan was still the father of my child, and our split still hurt.
I was trying to get my head around our break-up when a few days later, a video message popped up on my phone.
Instantly I recognised the footage was of Dan and Fin. Intrigued, I pressed play. Nothing could have prepared me for what came next.
‘We’ve been going on behind your back since you were pregnant,’ the pair sneered. ‘The sex is great – Fin’s much better in bed that you,’ Dan then added.
My jaw hung open in shock as video after video was sent through to my phone, and I watched in horror as the cruel pair taunted me, telling me they were now in a relationship.
The sick films went on to explain they had been having an affair throughout my pregnancy and that Dan had fallen for Fin the very first time he met her.
Dan really stuck the knife in when he jeered that Fin was better in bed than me and even went on to say their kids would be far better looking than Olivia, our daughter. Sick!
Their words hit like heavy punches and the double betrayal was almost too much to bear. My worst fears had been confirmed – on camera!
The camera never lies and that video cost me both my best friend and my fiance. I didn’t have the stomach to confront either of them after that, but I know I’m better off without them.
I’m not in touch with either of them now and Dan doesn’t have anything to do with Olivia. Those rats are welcome to each other.
Dan says: “Roxanne was always paranoid about me and Fin, but nothing happened with Fin until after I’d split with Roxanne. I was drunk when we made those videos, I told her I was cheating to wind her up. We (Dan and Fin) slept together one night.”
Fin says: “Roxanne was always convinced I was sleeping with Danny, but I’m a lesbian and I don’t find him attractive. The videos were just a joke.”
Roxanne was devastated when she discovered her man’s betrayal – with her best friend of all people. We helped her name and shame the pair when she sold her story to That’s Life! magazine. If you’ve thought about telling your cheating story to the press, have a look at our ‘how to guide’ and get in touch to discuss your options.